Calloused Clarity

I love my job. It's creative, interesting, challenging and I firmly believe I am doing good in the world. This is satisfying.

What my job lacks is reality. I create applications, web pages and maps. Most of the time I simply move ones and zeros around all day. Even a beautiful map, a work of art I might argue, is only paper.

It is not tangible like the patios, walks and stairs I used to build out of natural stone to pay the bills in grad school. It is far more gratifying to finish sweeping sand between the cracks on a patio, take a seat, and enjoy the beauty you've created. Stone is tangible. The feel of a perfect break as you cleave a rock in two. The joy and aggravation of piecing together the puzzle of sandstone into a beautiful, functional surface.

This is why I enjoy owning a house. It gives me a chance to actually accomplish something. When pipes break and flood part of your house it is not a joy. But even with the frustrations the work is tangible and worthwhile.

When I first moved into my house the floor joists in the kitchen had warped from a hot tub the previous residents had placed in the adjoining bathroom without proper support. There was a bow in the center of the kitchen that dropped nearly 3" by the time it found the far wall. I ripped the entire floor up down to the joists, patched in new joists, redid the subfloor and finished it off with a Pergo knockoff and new cabinets. Every time I walk into the kitchen is gratifying.

This is what my job lacks. And even though I've decided now is a good time to sell, and probably renting would better match my goals, I'll miss the joy of building a wall, planting a tree, the heft of a stone in my calloused hands.