Monday, September 25, 2006

I suppose this is why we get sick days

At soccer practice yesterday I saved a goal by sliding and kicking the ball away. Subsequently, I burned an area of flesh slightly bigger than my palm off my upper thigh which became painfully part of my boxers. Arriving home I didn't want to rip my boxers off so that I could then stick to the sheets so I thought it best to leave them on and enjoyed an evening of waking up about every 15 minutes in pain. Finally when I couldn't take it any more and got up and showered my underwear off to reveal that overnight I had grown what appeared to be a third butt cheek with a blistery pussy finish. It's quite cute really if you're into that kind of thing. And perfectly situated such that wearing shorts or just sitting down normally proves impossible.

So after that description let me assure you, I may get some work done today, but it won't be at the office. I need to keep this glistening mass exposed to the air so hopefully it will scab over and I can wear pants again. If I really get tired of it I might cover it in gauze but the memory of ripping a layer of skin and hair off my thigh this morning is a little too vivid for me to embrace that solution unless substantial time in the open air does not allow my body to heal itself. Good news is the swelling is going down.